God on a Bender

1/2 YEAR BLOGAVERSARY

Yes, it's been six months since my first post.  After 99 posts (I just counted, kinda eerie -this will be #100), I can look back with satisfaction at exactly 7300 pageviews (weirdly round number again.  I swear I'm not making anything up) from 83 countries.  The newest?  Nepal clicked by yesterday.  Finally.  (Did they bring me monkeybrain stew for the party, like in Temple of Doom?  No.  They claimed they didn't know.  Meh)

Know how I'm celebrating this landmark?  Passover was this week. 
My wife is Jewish.  I'll be at my mother-in-law's.

All because I'm not actually god.  Damnit.  But motherfucker, if I was...

Not sure why we're here...but WE'RE U2 !!

                GOD ON A BENDER

First I'd have U2 rock out at my rave

and in return, give Bono Africa to save

the beer would flow and champagne would pop

and once it started I might not know when to stop

I might swing by Mexico to pick up some sexy senoritas

and use the Gulf to mix up some frozen margaritas

and as long as my mind was fixed on dirty doin's



I've been praying for this day



I'd entice Angelina and Beyonce, and leave them both in ruins

in Pakistan I'd scream "So help Me, Me.  You'll learn!"

and rain lightning on Al Queda just to watch 'em burn

then a quick stop in north Africa to check up on a hater

dancing through Libya, leaving a Qaddafi-shaped crater

but after a night like that would come a terrible morning

not quite ready to see the wreckage where I'd be touring

I'd have a god-sized headache when I finally left my bed

Not so fast, Angie.  I call dibs!

I'd have to scoop up Iceland and wrap it on my head



I might notice smoke from Jersey where I'd smote some Snookies

And see the Red Sea was now green where I'd tossed my cookies

There might be snow drifts in Cuba, where on a bet I'd left a blizzard

The Black Sea might be green, where I'd drained my lizzard

Regret would hit Me hard and I'd decide right then

"I swear to Me, the party's over now and I'll never drink again"

As always, If I Were God appreciates comments, ad-clicks and sharing of His articles. 

He sees all; disappoint Him not.